we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
