Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
