He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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