he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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