just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
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