so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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