Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
