bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
