sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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