Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
