your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
