Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
