do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
