i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
