He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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