remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
