Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
