Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
