so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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