You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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