My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
