Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
