you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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