I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
