I'm gonna have a badass scar
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
