please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
