we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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