i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
