I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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