I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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