That's when you crack a 10am beer
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
