Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
