Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I can tuck mytits in my pants
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
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