i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
