I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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