I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
