I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
