I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
