haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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