her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
