Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
