he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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