Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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