WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
