an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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