Jerry, you need to find god
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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