you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
