Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
