I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
