i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Watching her eat just hurts me
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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